tuucker:

irisowl:

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.

JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.

wolveroonie:

'what kind of guy would leave a usb key containing highly classified intelligence behind two pieces of gum in a vending machine'

probz the same kind of guy who hides his spare house key under a haphazard cinderblock that literally anyone could kick over by accident

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